my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
