I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
