Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
