one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
