you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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