What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
