if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
