Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
