yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
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I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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