Nicole vs. Life
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
