They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's never too late to be topless.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
