this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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