What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
