The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
