Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
