walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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