Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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