She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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