Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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