I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
