DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
