sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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