her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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