he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
