Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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