I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
