Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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