ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Let's get the cat blown out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
