I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
