I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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