I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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