she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
