The maid of honor just puked.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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