And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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