"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
