She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize