I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
