i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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