The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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