Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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