what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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