why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
