your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
