Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize