yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
