So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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