I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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