I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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