maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
