and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
