thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
