He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
