I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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