CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
