wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
