I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
