There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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